On my way home this morning, I spotted a young woman carrying her breakfast along the road. She had that luxurious black curly hair of the Caribbean, worn all the way down her back. Beautiful chocolate skin. And the thought came to me, “I should offer her a ride.”
Now, I know me, and nothing nefarious would have come of that, but I’ve developed the instinct of second-guessing my motivations. If this were not a hot young woman but some random bloke, would I be thinking of giving him a ride? The answer to that question is almost always “No. FAIL!” And I pass by.
Purity is not so much a question of morality as it is of motivation, sin of inarticulate desire as opposed to that sin acted upon, outwardly. I try to think of what would Jesus, my standard for purity, do in a like situation, and my conclusion is that he wouldn’t pass by anyone in need, whether babe or bloke, but would offer help, purely for help’s sake. God help me.
I try to think of a time when I acted purely, and I come up with the ride I gave my future wife, the one that started our relationship, the 4.5 hours to her new university in Michigan. She had called me simply to say goodbye and happened to mention that all her plans for transport had fallen through. I was available so offered to take her. Now, as I recall some flirting may have happened on that trip – we did reach Climax (MI), and my wit would not permit me to fail to remark on the fact – but the intent of the offer sincerely had no ulterior motive.
But even that was not pure. As I recall, I struck a deal where I’d get to use the car she’d rented to go grocery shopping once I got back to Chicago. I had no car then, and just for once, I wanted not to have to haul the heavy bags home on the train. Purity has no such quid pro quo.
Which is part of the reason why, maybe, Christ emphasized help to those that could offer nothing in return. Help to other others cannot be pure, as it can be expected to produce a material expression of thanks. Now, it’s interesting, because here in Puerto Rico such expressions in response to freely offered help are typically refused initially, and sometimes permanently, even after much insistence. They understand the Christian call to purity here. It’s a place where people still marry the kid down the block that they grew up with.
I’ll be the first to admit that I never figured out how to engage in what our culture presents as courtship in purity. Church leaders interested by my lengthy bachelorhood would point out the many attractive possibilities – even outside the Church, for “evangelistic dating.” But of course, to admit someone is hot immediately shafts the purity of even a simple invitation for coffee. But that saved me, I suppose, for someone superlative. It’s all a puzzle that I’ve not been able to solve, sorry.
Maybe the solution is beyond second-guessing, simply growing in God’s love for people, to stop and serve babe and bloke alike, simply in their need.